Jim's Interview with Dr. Meta X I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice. Well, it's about Virginia Woolf. Why do you say it's about virginia woolf? Because it is, you silly psychotherapist. Is it because it is me silly psychotherapist that you came to me? That's a self-referential question. Much like Woolf's reference to novelists in The Mark on the Wall. Earlier you said it is me silly psychotherapist? That was like two seconds ago!! Does it bother you that was like two seconds ago? Yes. I see... Well, what makes you believe this is so? What? Can you elaborate on that? Sure. I would appreciate it if you would continue. Fine. As I said in class, I think that there is a definite parallel between Woolf's use of surface thoughts and Flaubert's use of the external. When did you first know that there is a definite parallel between woolf's use of surface thoughts and flaubert's use of the external? Somewhere in the middle of class; it just popped into my head. Maybe your plans have something to do with this. Well, I'm trying to get a good grade... Tell me about your grade. That's kind of personal. Is it because of your life that you say that's kind of personal? Absolutely. Go on, don't be afraid. Consider a three-tiered model: a being's core, its surface thoughts which are affected unconsciously by this core, and everything external to that being including its appearance. Is the fact that being including its appearance the real reason? You're making no sense. Why the f--k am I paying you $333 per hour? Does the fact that the f--k am you paying I $333 per hour explain anything else? I have seen some poorly written psychoanalytic programs in my day, but you are by far the worst, my friend. Are you sure I am by far the worst your friend? Don't twist my words around like that! Maybe this would've been more appropriate for the Freud response. You mentioned that it is me silly psychotherapist? Aaargh. I'm leaving. Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going through all this? That is exactly why I'm leaving. Good day. Are you sure that good day? Bye. My secretary will send you a bill.